Bev's life as a foster carer

Foster carers for six years

Bev and Steve have five children of their own, now aged 18 to 31, and have been foster carers for six years. They were able to make a start with fostering when their daughters went to university, meaning they had a spare bedroom. Their youngest son has been heavily involved with fostering, and all their children are invested, lending a hand with making sure someone is at home for their foster siblings. The social workers have always included the whole family with the fostering process, their youngest son even went to panel with them. 

Bev's career has mostly involved working with children. As a civilian station officer for the police, she would regularly see children arriving with a parent who had been arrested, often in very distressing circumstances. One incident made a deep impression and strengthened Bev's resolve to become a foster carer.  

"A two-year-old came in with his mother who had been arrested. She wasn't in a fit state physically or mentally. The little boy had been hurt by his mum and had injuries on his body. It was Christmas Eve and there was nobody available to help, so I looked after him all night. Then in the early hours of Christmas morning, we had to take him to a children's home. The staff were amazing, warm and welcoming but I couldn't help feeling that it would have been better for such a young child to go to a foster family." 

Fostering with the council

We chose to foster through Norfolk County Council because I know they have secure structures and systems in place. Learning and development is very important and we have that all the way through as a safety net. We feel very well supported." 

The couple were allocated a social worker to take them through the process of becoming a foster carer. "We bonded with her very quickly. It was clear she wanted to get the best out of us and we had a good rapport. The process is very long and in depth which might put some people off. But when you start your fostering journey, you realise why so much information is needed. You learn a lot about yourself - and your partner!"

The best thing about being a foster carer

For Bev, the best thing about being a foster carer is seeing a child's confidence and happiness increase. "That moment when a child looks back at you for reassurance - whether it's riding a bike for the first time or tying their shoelaces - it's so moving and rewarding. This may seem like small gains, but everything progresses from there."

Bev and Steve have so far fostered nine children in the last six years, usually older children aged 10 upwards. They both work full-time, although Steve works in education so has the school holidays off. 

Keep an open mind

"I'd advise anyone thinking about fostering to keep an open mind regarding what kind of fostering you might like to do. You might think you're more suited to a particular age range or sex, but it's good to explore all the avenues. We've done respite care and emergency care as well as short term fostering, and we're about to do step-down fostering with a young lad from a residential care home. We've spent quite some time building a relationship with him before he moves in." 

Of course, being a foster carer isn't plain sailing. Many children have been severely traumatised and may have behavioural issues. "Everything can be going well, then something happens, and you feel you're back to square one. Often their behaviour reflects how they dealt with trauma in the past. It can be difficult understanding how a child might react to a situation, so consistency is key. It's crucial to keep reinforcing positive behaviour and talking things through."

A positive experience for the family

Bev feels that fostering has been a positive experience for her and her family. She's thinking about retiring and wants to expand her fostering.

I feel we're growing into fostering and I'm looking forward to doing more when I retire."